The Sun has been peddling porkies about the Osbournes (the ‘Ozzies’, not the ‘Georges’ this time). Battling Sharon of the aubergine hair has just walked away from the high court with a sackful of Murdoch loot after the ‘news’ paper had to dig into its coffers yet again – though maybe not so deep for old rumple-chops to notice or, at least, to care. After all, his British papers have been playing the Professional Foul for years. It’s a simple ploy; the paper thinks up a nasty, damning story claiming some spurious source about someone they think is currently out of public favour, or they shamelessly invade their privacy by sending clandestine video cameras into their private space, and sales get a nice big kick up the arse. They know that a high proportion of victims are reluctant to sue, but if they do, and win (which the victims usually do), the pay out + costs are often far lower than any of the Sun’s other, less effective sales promotions – especially when they can put juicy video clips up on their tacky website.

They had claimed, without a crumb of proof, that Sharon was pushing Ozzy back on the touring circuit to earn more money for her parties and baubles. The article wrongly alleged that she was ‘driving her frail husband Ozzy Osbourne to destruction’, was working him ’so hard she will kill him’ and that ‘Sharon will keep Ozzy on the road until, like Tommy Cooper, he dies on stage’. (Even if that weren’t a lie, it wouldn’t be such a bad way to go; I always thought Tommy C. must have died laughing.)

Naturally, in court, the story couldn’t even get out of bed, let alone stand up. It was never going to; the source of the story was David Arden, Sharon’s estranged brother, who had no doubt been offered (though probably never received due to non-performance) a few £10Ks himself, and had prompted the strap: ‘Chilling warning from brother of X Factor Sharon’.

The paper even illustrated their fantasy with a shot of Ozzy looking a little knackered – at the end of a four mile jog round the UCLA athletics track in Los Angeles with a personal trainer – four years ago! You’d think even the Sun could do better than that.

‘These allegations are entirely without foundation and were obviously extremely distressing, hurtful and damaging for the claimant,’ said Sharon’s barrister to the judge. ‘The claimant’s distress was increased as a result of the photograph being captioned, “Pushed too far – Ozzy looking like a man who’s had enough”.’

It was all rubbish. They knew it was all rubbish, but with their usual cynical contempt for the truth and their readers, they had spewed it out and hoped for the best. The only people who do it better are the boys from Screws, their big sister with the dirty habits, whose axiom has been, since its foundation in 1843, “Our motto is the truth; our practice is the fearless advocacy of the truth.”

I may have pointed this out before; the irony of it is too gross to ignore.

Popularity: 1% [?]