Screws' newshound Jobson hot on the scent again

March 8th, 2009 • Related • Filed Under

News of the Screws royal hunters, young Ryan Sabey backed up by ‘Royal Editor’, Bob-a-Jobson, have been up to those voyeuristic tricks that their paper’s gossip-monger boss likes so much to see in his Shag’n’Brag Sunday rag.

Like a pair of grubby mac wearers, they’ve been dogging the steps of a 24 year old man to spy on his private romances. They reported today that Prince Harry was seen leaving a London club in the small hours with an attractive blonde girl who, they have discovered, is a friend of Prince William’s girlfriend.

This utterly unremarkable, un-newsworthy event, believe it or not, becomes the story that makes the front page splash of Rupert Murdoch’s leading Smut’n’Butt sheet.

The two intrepid reporters (or more likely, some poor subcontracted Private Investigator), ignoring all the young prince’s reasonable expectations of privacy,  follow the couple back to the gates of  Clarence House where he has his own apartment, like thousands of other working soldiers of his age.

Then they hang around outside waiting to see when the girl leaves – as if this had anything to do with them or their millions of gullible readers. They don’t see her leave, so they nudge nudge the not especially discerning Screws’ readers to come to their own conclusions.

The Screws just can’t leave Prince Harry alone. Most people who found themselves being permanently followed around by these scuzzy people would, from time to time, feel the urge to drop their trousers and break wind in the hacks’ faces. To his credit, Prince Harry has so far restrained himself.

Then the Screws royal reporters ring round a few of their ‘contacts’ and cobble up a little background on the girl, making something of the information that her friends, in the way friends do, have punned her name, ‘Harbord’ into ‘Hardcore’ – and make much, in standard Screws mode, of implying that this has a genuine bearing on her demeanour and behaviour.

They have absolutely no evidence to suggest that the young woman has done anything to deserve these implications.

I wonder how Jobson would like it if it were done to him.

Imagine for a moment that other hacks in the Wapping Slurry Pit, in a spirit of friendly jocularity and without any relevance to his true sexuality, referred to their colleague as Robert “Blow-Jobson” (and they might for all I know), and the implications of that, if it were used in a national newspaper. 

Jobson gets upset and complains when I criticise his methods, but at least I refer to him only by the harmless boy-scout moniker, “Bob-a-Jobson.”

He shouldn’t complain. If you make your living in a dung heap, of course you’re going to smell of dung.

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There Are 6 Responses So Far. »

  1. Comment by robert jobson on 12 March 2009:

    Dear Peter,

    For the record Harry’s new girl is called Astrid Harbord not Harborn as you state and it was the society Bible Tatler that used the term “Hardcore sisters” first.

    I am sure an author of your standing agrees that accuracy – even on this little site – is important.

    I have no idea what you are trying to imply with your reference to Robert “Blow” Jobson.

    Please spell it out, clearly.

    You seem to have a problem personally with me without ever having met me.

    I am more than happy to respond to your internet mud-slinging if you would care to call.

    I look forward to your next defence of recism – it truly beggared belief.

    With kind regards,

    Rob Jobson

  2. Comment by Peter on 12 March 2009:

    To Robert Jobson

    Thanks for spotting the typo in my last blog. I have corrected it, but of course, it doesn’t affect in the slightest the point I was making. Would that the persistent and innumerbale inaccuracies in your paper were as trivial.

  3. Comment by robert jobson on 20 March 2009:

    Dear Peter,

    Sorry about that – yes the typo thing was a little petty. I apologize. Personally, I believe given the huge sums of taxpayers money spent on security and funding the British royals there is a genuine public interest in what they are up to.

    But I have noted your point and taken it on board. However, I am not sure what purpose this made-up tosh about me being called Robert “Blow” Jobson makes. Just a bit of daft nonsense made up by you by the sound of it.

    My offer of lunch is always open to you. I am fascinated by your obsession with the News of the World.

    Having been at the paper for less than a year on a consultant contract – and having worked for all different newspapers across what used to be Fleet Street – I find the reporters and staff hard working and professional.

    I am currently working on a book about Matt Croucher who was awarded the George Cross for Randon House.

    Let me have your address I would love to send you a copy.

    With every good wish,

    Robert Jobson

  4. Comment by Patrick on 3 April 2009:

    Boys, boys, boys. Whilst I agree with you Robert that accuracy is always important and good thing that Peter corrected his, I certainly hope for your sake that your publisher isn’t as you have recorded: “Randon House” (sic) I do hope for your benefit it is Random House.

  5. Comment by Peter on 7 April 2009:

    Well spotted, Patrick.

  6. Comment by rob jobson on 6 May 2009:

    Thanks for pointing that out Patrick.

    Yes, you are right.

    The publisher for Bullet Proof, the story of Matt Croucher GC, is Century, Random House.

    I have decided to end my correspondence with Peter Burden.

    It is rather daft.

    He has his view and he is entitled to it.

    I have mine.

    We are opposed.

    Period.

    Perhaps it would be best if it is left there.

    Kind regards,

    Robert

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