Last week the News of the World paid out a chunky sum to Jordan and Peter Andre for lying about their parenting skills. This week we learn that they have sent Cherie Blair a substantial sum for writing untruths about her relationship with Mrs Gordon Brown. And it could be that next week, they’ll be sending a jolly fat cheque to Max Mosley.

These are not the sort of additional costs a newspaper needs in difficult times like these, when advertising revenue is about to fall off the back of the truck. Will Master James, like the dominatrix he recently employed to set up Mosley, find it necessary to crack the whip? Will he chastise his staff for their wicked lying?

Whose backside will be striped with livid scars? “Onan the Barbarian” Thurlbeck? Little Colin Myler? Or “Peeping Tom” Crone for letting them do it?

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