Archive for September, 2009

THE SUN GOES WITH THE FLOW

 You wouldn’t have to be Nostradamus, or even Mystic Meg to predict plausibly that Gordon Brown won’t be running the country next summer, nor Harriet, nor Jacqui, nor Milli, nor any other pretenders. The Murdochs have been reading the polls too, and they don’t think Labour will win the election. Nor do they like to back losers, so they’ve grandly told the world today, through the editorially independent Bore-away SUN that they think Gordon and Labour are a pair of busted flushes.

       Having, with customary irritating hubris, taken responsibility for getting New Labour elected in ’97, the Shag-Rag makes no apologies for having persuaded their readers to vote for a party who they now claim has done bugger all - listing their failures in a garbled, Sun-style, bullet-pointed rant, put out by its new young editor and World Big-Brother expert, Dominic Mohan.

To this was added specific support for David Cameron – not very surprising, given that young Dave’s head spinner (still disgracefully and dangerously in place at Central Office) is Andy Coulson, notorious purveyor of non-truth and serious amnesiac, who was a Screws editor as well as confidant and assistant to the Testarossa, Rebekah (Wade) Brooks, CEO of Murdoch’s British papers.

Even if the ‘readers’ of the daily ShagRag could be bothered to read its puerile piffling editorials, they’re not going to be swayed by anything it has to say. That’s not why they buy the Sun. And Young David should stop letting Andy persuade him otherwise. It’s like trying to bribe the voters with a pair of Page 3 tits, and it demeans a grown-up political party. And PS, Dave…… keeping Andy on the team may just make Rupert feel he’s lot more important than he is.

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al Megrahi – Foregiveness or Revenge

The widespread anger in the West at the release of Libyan bomber, Abdelbaset al-Megrahi is not surprising. There is, though, another perspective that has been widely eschewed, for, while tainted by what appears to be a lack of openness on the part of the British Government, the event does spotlight the confusion between what we call justice, and what should be called retribution.

While it’s a rational and nearly always desirable response for the direct and collateral victims of crime to want to identify a culprit in order to achieve some kind of resolution or closure – which is the function of ‘Justice’ – there is very little evidence that harbouring grudges or malicious feelings towards the perpetrator or fostering a desire for revenge achieve anything more than sustenance for bitterness.

It’s normal and understandable that the families of terrorists’ victims should find their lives poisoned by a consuming hatred for those who took their loved ones from them. It is part of prevailing Western culture to nurture – even celebrate – these negative emotions although it is abundantly clear that they can do nothing to restore a lost daughter, son or spouse – and they certainly won’t provide any respite from unhappiness. As part of the greater picture, they can only increase the misunderstanding, tension and aggression that already exist between terrorists and their targets.

However, despite the entirely negative consequences of bearing grudges and seeking revenge, these are seen in the modern western world as proper, macho responses, to be recognised and commended. In this they reflect a C19th American pioneer culture (possibly sustained far beyond its historical context by the seductive influence of the Hollywood Western).

The truth is that the desire for revenge is uncouth, uncivilised and always destructive – at both personal and international levels.

 It would have been far more constructive (though ridiculously fanciful to expect) if after 9/11 George W Bush had appeared on television and told his country that while Islamic terrorists had sought to destroy symbolically the heart of their nation, and taken the lives of thousands of their fellow citizens, they should turn to those terrorists and ask why.

“Why do you hate us? How have we offended you? What has driven you to take such drastic action against innocent Americans? What do you want from us? How can we, the most powerful nation in the world, help you?”

It would have taken a braver (and more enlightened) man than George W Bush to take this stance in the face of his unsophisticated, traditionally xenophobic electorate, although there might have been more support for it than he realised.

Instead, he told the nation he was going to whup the terrorists to avenge the American deaths, and their effrontery; he was going to start a war – two wars, as it turned out – which, eight years on look barely nearer resolution and have undoubtedly recruited 1,000s to Al Qaeda’s camp, including hundreds of Britons alienated by the indiscriminate hatred directed at anyone who might conceivably be Muslim. 1,000s more American (and British) lives have been lost to carry out Bush’s revenge for the lives lost in the Twin Towers, as well as those of thousands of innocent Iraquis and Afghanis.

Perhaps if Bush had had the courage to show understanding and forgiveness on behalf of his country, the impetus for more young Muslims to join al Qaeda would have been neutered; if the US (with Britain) had had the foresight and forbearance to put themselves in a position where they were no longer targets – as Obama is now trying to do in the face of inevtiable knee-jerk oppostion – there would have been no cause for young British Muslims to bring about the deaths and mayhem of London’s 7/7.

Undoubtedly, if Bush had proffered his hand in forgiveness, the neo-cons and the red-necked hillbillies would have hollered that to capitulate in this way would open the floodgates to terrorism. They would not have paused to consider that failures of reconciliation are manifestly fewer than failures of aggression.

It is salutary to consider the supreme and undeniable dignity of Northern Irish Methodist, Gordon Wilson, after his daughter, Marie had died holding his hand beneath the rubble caused by a massive IRA bomb in Enniskillen on Remembrance Day, 1987.

He said, ‘I bear no ill will. I bear no grudge. Dirty sort of talk is not going to bring her back to life.’

His forgiveness of the IRA terrorists who had killed his daughter helped to lay the foundations for a genuine and profound reconciliation that has led to the decommissioning of IRA weapons, and the participation of Sinn Fein in the Northern Ireland Government, and the beginnings of genuine understanding between the two communities.

To see al Megrahi die in prison can do nothing to restore his victims to those who loved them; to forgive him and allow him to die in his own country would offer them a supreme moral strength and a release from the destructive bitterness of hate, while it could also achieve something real for long term peace and understanding.

Were you to ask me how I would react if one of my own much loved offspring were killed by a terrorist’s bomb, I would answer that I don’t know, but I profoundly hope that I would find the strength and courage to forgive.

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Mass-murderer’s Art on sale in Ludlow again.

 Despite the grumblings by auctioneer, Richard Westwood-Brookes that he is not appreciated in Ludlow when he comes to sell his Nazi memorabilia at the racecourse, he’s back again to auction three more masterworks by the deceased Fuhrer. [See my blog and his response at  www.peterburden.net/archives/132 last April]

Evidently news of the prices fetched by Mullocks Auctions for the last batch of Hitler’s youthful daubs auctioned in Ludlow has reached the US. The star offering this time – a  painting of a town by a lake – was bought directly from young Adolf as a memento in Vienna in 1908 by American tourist, Anna Sheersmith whose great, great niece from New Jersy family are now moved to sell it, at a guide price of £10,000 – about £9,970 more than it would be worth if it hadn’t been painted by a famous mass-murderer-to-be, according to experts.

If you are a collector of this kind of thing, an auction takes place on October 1st, 2009.

Popularity: 8% [?]

Boycie at the Trotters

The idea of reproducing, in an arena like the Circus Maximus, a race between half a dozen highly-tuned quadricas (the observant among you will have spotted Boadicea driving one with four fresh-looking animals across the top of Hyde Park Corner) was a well-formed fantasy of mine in my foolish, romantic 20s. Evidently, German impresario Franz Abraham has not grown out of his version of this fantasy. He claims to have staked his all on the realisation of his dream, Ben Hur Live at the O2 Arena; if it’s a flop, he’s said, he’ll be ruined. Poor old Franz. After reading the reviews and seeing some clips of the show on the net, it looks to me as if ruination could well be on the cards. After all, it’s reported that the ‘chariot race’ -  the apogee of the whole show, surely – lasts a mere two minutes – not long enough to deliver satisfaction of any sort.

   If only Franz had sought to work out his fantasies in a more manageable way, like the surprisingly adventurous Lord (David) Lipsey, who despite his credentials as an economist, financial journalist and adviser to the Labour government, has seen the fulfilment of his equine dreams by owning and driving his own trotting horses, and, much to the amazement of the Welsh trotting folk who sold them to him, winning with them.

Driving trotters (or “pacers”) from a flimsy sulky, as practised in mid Wales and the Marches, is (I’m told) a seriously gut-churning experience and, even without Charlton Heston to whip it up, provides as exciting a spectator sport as you could see in any public arena, which, without the spinning axle blades to slice an opponents’ spokes, has it over Roman chariot racing as far as our Health & Safety minders are concerned.

I love the trotters, and persuaded my friends, John & Carol Challis that they too should experience the rough and tumble of the Mid-Wales and Border Counties Trotting Association – an organisation with a pleasingly slender rule book (unlike their more fastidious cousins, the British Harness Racing Club). Given John’s alter ego, since 1981, as Boycie in Only Fools and Horses, he risked the tabloid headline, “Boycie visits the Trotters” but agreed to traipse across country to the Bell in Almeley, west Herefordshire, where we met Ray Thomas, landlord of the Lion Hotel in Llanbister, builder, farmer, horseman, traveller and polymath, who had a runner in the pre-novice race and whom I’d asked to mark our card for the day. He led us off to a nearby field in which a few Portaloos and a beer tent had been erected for the races. A course was laid out with sporadic wood posts and lengths of rope. A flat bed trailer by the winning post accommodated the judges and the commentator. A race card offered the runners and rivers for a dozen or so trials of speed.

Trotting is not a traditonal activity of the tweed-and-Barbour Range-Roving classes; it is run and watched by unsophisticated, sturdy Celtic folk – skilled, tough and canny they are too, though not always as canny as the bookies that come out to take their money each week. Neither the bookies nor the punters, though, can ever be sure who’s trying to do what, and both rely on assessing the whiteness of the knuckles of the drivers of the runners-up in the earlier heats, so as to know how to skew the odds in the finals.

A lot of the punters, it turned out, were also fans of Only Fools and Horses, and John was asked ceremoniously to leave his imprimatur (or, at least, Boycie’s) on the bar of the beer tent that does the rounds of the border trotting meetings.

There’ll never be trotting at the O2 Arena, thank God, and with luck it will remain our Marcher country speciality for some time. The season’s more or less over now, but if you’d like to see some real, live chariot racing, make a note that the premier meeting of the year takes place at Pen-y-Bont in Powys, over a wonderful, ramshackle course, complete with clapboard Grandstand and known as the Wembley of the West, on the first Wednesday of August. You won’t need your Ascot hat, but you’ll see as much sport.

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The Lingering Aroma of the Ludlow Sausage

I imagine every community must have its share of hard-core moaners and I wouldn’t be surprised if there are a few in Ludlow who think there are disadvantages in living in a town which functions as a kind of open air museum – a medieval street grid, some half a mile square, of well-preserved historic dwellings and public buildings, headed by a near perfect perpendicular church and a Norman castle (with its own C12th circular chapel). These are the people who object to the May Fair (a centuries’ old tradition) taking over the town centre for 3 days (and making it smell strongly of un-nutritious hamburgers), or to the rock concert that is held in the castle at the end of the summer festival – small-minded people who do not recognise that the less erudite, ordinary Ludlovians have as much right to a little community fun as those of us who go to see obscure French films or string quartets in the Assembly Rooms.

Even when the castle is opened up, as it often is, for diverse festivals and events, and the town’s streets are choked with charabancs, it’s good to know that the town’s delights are being more widely shared. For the bright, blue-sky weekend just past, Ludlow hosted its 15th Ludlow Food Festival – a Foodies’ nirvana, reflecting the wonderful revival of interest in traditional English food and drink – ales, goats’ cheeses, muttons, ciders, smoked ducks’ breasts – the diversity on offer was astonishing .

Of course, there had to be an element of competition, too, with local brewers, bakers, butchers and chefs vying for accolades. One frankly unscientific competition was hosted by Mr Graham (Floyd) Wilson-Lloyd, Ludlow’s ubiquitous landlord, former town mayor and operator of the Church Inn and the Charlton Arms. Seventeen beers and ales had been submitted by local pubs (not, on the whole, the crummy ones owned by Pub-Cos), and judging them fell to exhibitor and brewing maestro Alex Barlow, who was exhibiting in his ALL Beer stand to promote his excellent new ALLBeer Guide to ales & beers. As often happens in Ludlow events, there had been some confusion, and the poor chap hadn’t been told there were to be winners and losers. He arrived to be handed what he (perhaps unfortunately) described as a poisoned chalice, though, having drunk from it, he did survive – only just. For with so many variables (the disparate skills of the cellarmen at the various submitting pubs) to cloud his judgment, it wasn’t surprising that in his preliminary blind tasting he rejected some of the Ludlow ale-drinking community’s firm favourites (including mine – Hobson’s Best) and provoked some rowdy booing. A memorable commentary and condensed history of Britain’s relationship with ale was provided by Sarge, the cellarman from the Church Inn. Sarge is a published poet, chronicler of the town’s lore, and a man of surprisingly diverse erudition who can talk with equal fervour about Bach, Glenn Gould or Django Rheinhart, and who summarised the reaction of the audience as pisspotical. He had by then plied them with pints of Ludlow Gold (the most local of ales) as he explained how the relationship between the Saxon Hengist and Horsa (cunning because they were ‘foreign’) and the British King Vortigern hinged on the ale-swilling characteristics of his people. I didn’t know that. But in the end, the beer judged the best was the best, with temporal and geographic relevance, Darwin’s Origin, by the Salopian Brewery – a real joy of a bitter, and on offer at the Unicorn.

Another arena – the whole town, in fact – was occupied by the Ludlow Sausage Trail. No doubt the hard-wired moaners objected to the whole town reeking of Sausage, which the five or six competing sausage makers offered from pitches dotted about the town. The local and visiting punters formed long queues at each, democratically selecting the tastiest sausage and providing a sound endorsement for the winner to shout about for the year to come. I don’t participate as a voter, for I am a firm and faithful fan of the Francis sausage, and don’t want to be confused by too much choice.

As an inhabitant of the town, I was only too happy to see it overun with sausage-munchers from evry corner of the land, and I look forward to seeing them all again next year, and to hell with moaners.

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News Corp Swept by Outbreak of Contagious Amnesia.

 I don’t know if swine flu is yet rife within the offices of News Corp’s world wide operations, but there is a visible increase in cases of galloping amnesia, if not downright mendacity, doing the rounds among their senior executives, especially when being asked questions by Members of Parliament.

Les Hinton, with silver locks well coiffed and a chummy habit of calling his questioners by their Christian names, consented to give evidence today to the House of Commons Culture Media Sport Committee via video-link from New York. He used to be Executive Chairman of News International, which owns the Murdoch newspapers in Britain, until December 2007, when he was promoted CEO of Dow Jones in New York, after Murdoch’s News Corp acquired it in their takeover of the Wall Street Journal.

          He was, therefore, boss of Stuart Kuttner, Tom Crone and Andy Coulson, the management in charge of the News of the World when Royal Editor, Clive Goodman was jailed along with private investigator Glenn Mulcaire for tapping the phones of members of Prince Charles’ household.

          As executive chairman at the time, he was as responsible as any of his subordinates for what went on – unless, of course, they knew more than he did about those events. But one of the committee today pointed out the striking similarity in the way Hinton answered the questions put to him and the efforts of his former executives. The number of times he shrugged his shoulders and declared he was “sorry but he just didn’t know”, or that, “given how busy he was at the time, he just couldn’t remember”, almost rivalled Andy Coulson’s performance in front of the same committee in July, when he declared he had no recollection of his paper publishing a transcript of a telephone message left by Prince William for Prince Harry, reproduced verbatim on p.7 of the Screws with a strap across the front page.

          However, Les did let slip one little droplet of truth.

          Asked, ‘Did it surprise you that Andy Coulson didn’t know that a voicemail had been hacked?’ he answered, ‘He might well have known.’

          Thanks, Les. That’s what we’ve all been saying.

          But, on the other hand, Les didn’t know why News International had given Gordon Taylor and his associates a million quid in damages, although he was very much in charge when the events that led to it took place.

          That is so surprising, you could be forgiven for thinking Les was being a tad disingenuous. And when asked who had given him the advice that NI should give a substantial settlement to a journalist who had been dismissed for plainly breaking his contract, or how Clive Goodman had been able to afford a top QC to fight his case (when he’d already pleaded guilty), he’d jolly well forgotten again.

          If I were a share-holder in News Corps, I think I’d be very worried that one of its principal assets is being run by a man who has lost his capacity to remember such important details.

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MET ASSISTANT COMMISSIONER JOHN YATES DENIES THE BLEEDING OBVIOUS.

A curious, alarming anomaly was revealed last Wednesday during a session of the Commons Culture, Media, Sport Committee. A very senior police officer told the committee that while investigating the News of the World phone-tapping incident, an unequivocal piece of evidence had not convinced his officers that it required further investigation.

       This evidence was the now infamous email sent from junior screws hack, Ross Hall (AKA Hindley) to contract private investigator, Glenn Mulcaire, which said: ‘This is the transcript for Neville,’ with the transcript of a message left on the voicemail of Gordon Taylor, boss of the PFA, intercepted and recorded by Mulcaire.

       Mulcaire pleaded guilty to hacking into Taylor’s voicemail after he’d also admitted to hacking into the voicemails  of  members of the Clarence House staff. He was jailed for these offences (which the News of the World encouraged him to commit by giving him a special contract signed by former Screws news editor, Greg Miskiw), and he served his sentence.

The Metropolitan Police investigation, headed by Detective Chief Superintendent Philip Williams, decided that despite the email’s clear reference to senior Screws hack, Neville Thurlbeck, clearly connecting him to an illegally acquired phone message, there was no basis for questioning Thurlbeck. There was, they said, no evidence to put to him or any other News of the World staff whose names had cropped in connection with this entirely unroyal-related hacking.

If this seems strangely lacking in diligence on their part, it seems even more so after hearing evidence given to the committee, after the police had appeared, by Mark Lewis, the lawyer who successfully sued the News of the World on behalf of Gordon Taylor. We learned from him that after he had acquired a court order requesting documentary evidence of Taylor’s complaint from the Metropolitan Police, Detective Sergeant Mark Maberly told Lewis that he “wasn’t having everything, but we’ll give you enough to hang the News of the World over Gordon Taylor”.

This statement, as reported by Lewis is unequivocal, and it’s out of the question that he would dissemble in front of a Parliamentary Committee. Besides, the Screws offered a £1m to shut Taylor up before the case got to court, so the evidence clearly was damning (for they had denied any knowledge of the offence until Lewis produced the Met’s evidence).

Why on earth didn’t the Met choose to prosecute the paper themselves when they had such a clear case? Lewis’s evidence makes a nonsense of what Asst Com Yates had told the committee only half and hour before. He should be called in again to explain himself.

The police had been asked by one of the MPs about their relationship with the News of the World. Not surprisingly Yates offered some weasel stuff about needing to a have a relationship with such an “important newspaper”.

If the MPs had asked Yates if he knew who sponsored the Annual Police Bravery awards, I wonder if they would have been surprised to hear that it is in fact the Screws  stable-mate, the Sun, and the News International top brass all attend this lavish ceremony each year, including of course Rebekah (née Wade) Brooks now CEO of News International, and, no doubt, a good friend of the Met brass-hats. [see: http://www.peterburden.net/archives/280 ] And I’ve long wondered why the Met have so often gone along with some of the absurdly fanciful ‘criminal investigations’ spun out of nowhere by Screws star, Mazher Mahmood.

Popularity: 2% [?]